love?

"and the problem it seems
is with you and me
not the love who came
to repair everything
and i don't know
what to do with a love like that
and i don't know
how to be a love like that

when all the love in the world
is right here among us and hatred too
so we must choose what our hands will do

where there is pain
let there be grace
where there is suffering
bring serenity
for those afraid
help them be brave
where there is misery
bring expectancy"
-david crowder band

I’m figuring out how to find my identity in Christ and define who I am by Him and the Gospel he calls us to follow instead of the love and joy the people of Southeast bring. In that way I am able to love them, and really everyone I come in contact with, in a manner that is not contingent upon whether or not that like me or love me back. It allows me to be emotionally objective enough to see that saying “no” sometimes is the best love and that when I inevitably fail them, there is a greater love that will never fail them; a greater God who knows the pain and situations they are going through that I don’t understand the half of. It allows me to be ok with the fact that they ultimately don’t need me. And it constantly reorients my life, my ministry, my purpose for being in Southeast, and the reason I invest so much time and energy into their lives-the love that Christ showed us.

oh Lord, forgive me, for i so often ignore your call to be obedient. be with us as we wrestle with this.